Friday, November 25, 2005

Observations and Other Delusions: Season's Bleatings

Okay kids, there’s only one month to go before the big fat guy pays your family a visit. And I’m not talking about your Uncle Lester, whose breath smells like sour corn, whose farts smell like cheap beer, and who always keep at least one hand in his pants pocket. And why is he your Uncle when he doesn’t seem to be related to anyone else in your family? But I digress. I’m talking about Mr. Claus and his sleigh full of consumer products. Yes, it’s time for that annual purchasing orgy known as Christmas shopping. Luckily for me, I’m mostly done. Although I still have a wee bit more shopping to do, everything I bought is wrapped and boxed and ready. Heck, they’ve been wrapped for so long, I’ve forgotten what they are. So I will now ride past the malls with smug impunity, knowing that while others are frantically pursuing the perfect gift, Visa is already screwing me at a rate of 18.5%. Ho. Ho. Ho.

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