Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The Alpha Incident

Sometimes you can't put it any other way: this is a really bad movie.
A Mars space probe has returned to Earth with a microorganism from the red planet. It is accidentally released and exposure to it has forced four strangers into quarantine while scientists try to find a cure for the alien virus.
It's basically four people stuck in a room, with occasional cut-aways to the scientists working on the problem, and the army enforcing the quarantine. Now when I say "scientists," I mean two guys in a small room with a microscope, and when I say "army," I mean one guy in a General's uniform who talks on the phone while he smokes a cigar.
This leads to one hysterical moment where the General orders over the phone that a quarantine needs to be set up to contain the spread of the virus. We cut to a shot of a couple of tanks driving across a field. We cut back to the general yelling into the phone: "Tanks? We don't need any tanks! It's only four people, goddammit!" And we never see the tanks again. That's brilliant filmmaking!
But really, this is just trash. And it's not even good trash, it's just trash. One of our four quarantinees is a woman who decides for no apparent reason to change into a negligee, and that stupid pseudo-sexy music plays as she changes. This is as low-brow as you can get.

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